The Alphabet Soup
by Jennifer Wilson
Summary: Twenty six drabbles on Near and Sayu, from a novel I would never write. Read: AU-L&Death Note victims appear six months after 1.28


**The Alphabet Soup-by Jennifer Wilson**

**26 short paragraphs on Near x Sayu, for the novel I would never write**

**A-Adler**

Sayu first gained his attention as a victim of Kira's crimes. Then, as a magician thief that has never been caught by him. Finally, she was _the _woman, an adversary, the Adler to his Sherlock Holmes.

**B-Blink**

"Go straight to hell!" She kicked the small Near puppet across the room, and it landed on to the base of the large tarot stack. The domino effect that ensued caused a massive amount of tarot cards to pile up. Sayu swore as she tried to salvage the situation.

"I said that I would be annoyed if anyone accidentally knocked over my stack."Near blinked. "And you did it _deliberately._"

**C-Catch**

The Phantom Thief was hard to grasp. Dressed in an outrageous tuxedo and tailcoat, frequently escaping with high-profile items (_read: Kremlin, Eiffel Tower, Burj Khalifa)_and returning them at strange places the very next day (_ie floating in President's Tea etc)_. Near pursed his lips.

Yes, she would be a worthy catch.

**D-Dodge**

Sayu sidestepped the infrared trip wires, preferring a subtler route. She turned into a corner, hoping to use the exterior of the building to scale up the fifty floors, only to find four angry men wielding .357 Magnums glinting under the fluorescent lights.

"Well," she thought, as she dashed down the corridor, "It only requires ducking and dodging of bullets."

**E-Error**

Near's biggest error, he thought, had to be the orange slices saturated with alcohol. But then as he took the ultrasound photographs from Roger, it may be a blessing in disguise.

**F-Fool**

"Damn it to hell!" Sayu swore as she sent several smoke bombs into the first floor, entering the building on the second floor using the fire escape. She lugged the albino on her shoulder while racing down the stairs, her automatic pistol in hand.

"Why did I ever agree to love you, fool!" She groaned as two men appeared in her line of vision.

**G-Ghost**

For the two of them, the spectre of her brother bears an invisible presence in their relationship. Sayu knows him as the one who brought Kira to justice and avenged her brother. Near however feels no guilt towards bringing Light to his death. Maybe that's why his hallucination of Light staring over her shoulder looked so lifelike.

**H-Hope**

Hope is the first word she can think of when talk about the future. Sayu wants to believe she alone can carve out her own future, regardless of what _idiotic stupid Near _ would say about Shinigami eyes and seeing human lifespans.

**I-Idealist**

When Near thinks of Sayu, he sees an overly idealistic girl, surprising for a kidnapped victim of the Mafia. He hopes his cynical attitude never rubs onto her innocence, because that is the only precious thing that she carries in spades.

**J-Joke**

"Are you kidding me? Sayu asks as Near turns around with a cotton string, tying it around her finger and proposing to her while the two are at an Italian police station. Near arches an eyebrow, oblivious to the Italian police chuckling behind palms

"Would you consider my proposal a joke?" Both eyebrows rise and his cheeks grow red as Sayu engages in a full frontal assult, starting with the lips.

**K-Kira**

Kira's back and he knows Sayu doesn't like him participating in such dangerous business without her for the first time in months. But he took down Kira the last time, and he would harden his heart to bring her own brother to justice, this time to a prison where no doubt could be placed about his moral values.

**L-Live**

The living spectre of L is a source of much respect, due to his position as Near's predecessor and motivation in becoming his successor. But as Sayu's fists twitched and her foot tapped while L explained that she was interfering in his work, Sayu found much more satisfaction than could be expected from an interfering busybody in her upcoming marriage, judging by that red palm mark on his cheek.

**M-Marriage**

Near hands over control of marriage preparations to Sayu, knowing his ineptitude at dealing with the fairer sex, and proceeds to be confronted by both Soichiro and Sachiko regarding Sayu's wellbeing, finding that Light is not the only member of the family capable of causing heart attacks.

**N-Normal**

The last thing Sayu could say of her life was boring. She was sister of Light, To-oh University joint-top scorer with L (whom she still detests to the core), kidnap victim of the American Mafia, the Phantom Thief (whose role she uses to irritate both Near and L), and as she stared at the images of the screen, mother of the personal union between a Yagami and a successor of L. Yes, her life was anything but normal.

**O-Owen**

"Owen?" Sayu suggests, as Near winces. Of all the talents in firearms, martial arts, cooking, magic tricks, naming babies are just not one of them.

"Sayu," he interjects, "just because I am Welsh,"

"I know! Let's just use a Japanese name! Hanatarou!" Flower…Peach Boy? Oh dear…

**P-Parent**

Soichiro's resurrection is one of the last things Near had expected to occur in his life time, but L & Watari reappearing are also not on the list of things that could happen.

He would have to find Sayu for support, before he explains why he and Sayu are parents of a child born three months after marriage.

**Q-Question**

"Any questions?" Sayu's class, a motley group of children raise their hands and fire requests for hints on the various Easter riddles she had set for the orphanage. Roger was celebrating the first confounding of Wammy children that had occurred during his management, and did not complain as they clattered down the corridors, racing towards the garden. She catches sight of a finger curling a strand of black hair, and smiles are shared as she takes back the blue egg she had hidden barely twenty minutes earlier.

**R-River**

The first time he sees his son, Near's amazed at the tiny hands. Shirou River-Yagami (thanks to Soichiro, a sensible name was found) was born premature, just like him, and he thinks that he and Sayu are the two tributaries that combine to form the river of intelligence that is Shirou.

**S-Son**

Shirou, as Sayu painstakingly reminds Near, is also her child, and she smirks when he infiltrates the European Union's mail exchange.

She is less pleased when he bluntly states his opposition to stealing the hands of Big Ben.

"He's your son! Damn it!"

**T-Truth**

A good liar knows when to include a strand of truth, and when Shirou asks how he was conceived, Near tells him that it started with some oranges. His troubles double, as Shirou describes how Matsuda had told him babies came from tofu blocks left on the table for two days.

**U-Usurp**

When a copycat named Zero attempts to usurp her throne of best international magician, a frustrated twenty-eight year old Sayu turns him to the police. A part of her rues the day she had agreed to Near's proposal, and quit the profession. Then she looks at Shirou, and decides that maybe it wasn't such a big sacrifice after all.

**V-Vow**

Sayu knew that her vow to never steal in Japan was already in jeopardy long ago, but this was just one injustice too many and she really can't stand being outstaged by a killer. Hence, she gains Near's permission for the Phantom Thief to reappear in the headquarters of the Japanese Task force, and to liberate a certain black book from its previous owner to burn it.

**W-Watari**

Near feels unsure of himself as he introduces Sayu as his wife to Roger-who knows she's trouble-and to Wammy-who now assists L in taking back the mantle after Near relinquishes all three detective titles in favour of the first one that properly belongs to him. Roger frowns-Sayu's the Phantom Thief! What were you thinking!"- While Wammy unexpectedly smiles, and says that he had gained a good asset for himself and he should treasure it.

**X-X'mas**

Sayu was maddened when Near announced he was going back to Wammy House on Christmas Eve_ without her_, and books a plane ticket to London. The children of Wammy House awoke on Christmas Day to find all twelve bells of Winchester church arranged neatly under a Christmas tree, with a miniature of Winchester Church wrapped in a bow for L.

L sent a reply thanking her for the present, and added that would she please put back those bells?

**Y-Youth**

Much of Near's youth was spent in Wammy House, and as he walks around slowly, his hand in Shirou's, he was relieved Shirou maintained a comfortable third at Wammy House and an enjoyable childhood. He and Sayu applaud as Shirou, at age sixteen, gives a lecture on Zeta-Boson Particles to people five times his age at MIT without batting an eyelid.

**Z-Zip**

Throughout their lives, Phantom Thief & the third L have always kept their identities zip-tight, the former more so than the latter. But as Shirou gazed at his parent's graves, he felt disappointed in himself for agreeing to never reveal their secrets to the public.

"Time to do some more idiocy," he sighed, as the fourth Watari followed Shirou back to the car.


End file.
